Messy Me

I’m a mess sometimes, it’s true…

But the whole truth is, I’m filled with many layers, and it takes awhile to peel them all and reveal what all is going on deep inside.

On the outside, there’s no missing that I am a bit of a mess. An organized mess if you will, since I stay buried in my half written bullet journals. My hair is frizzy, makeup only ever half on or thrown on in a hurry when I actually get around to it, you can still see the bags under my eyes regardless, I mostly live in comfort clothes but I keep pretty things because I adore getting dressed up and the theatrical side of me remembers that play-acting and story telling will always be a part of who I am even if it only comes out in small thrown together moments that frankly could be better. I’m pretty much your stereotypical stay at home mom/eccentric artist that lives in a whirlwind of mess, creativity, sleepless nights and early mornings, good days, bad days, still throwing bits and pieces of my life together to create a work of art as I get through this thing called life. It just takes a little time and practice to figure out this canvas I suppose..

Solitude

Trapped in my thoughts,
alone in solitude,
so many things,
plaguing me with darkness.
As the world is exposed,
so is the suppressed pain inside. 
The lies, I've told myself,
that it's not okay to feel,
what I know is real,
but I deeply wished it wasn't true.
I knew this world was bad,
but still, I was had,
by a false sense of kindness and peace.
Love for all,
was built on the pain and suffering,
torture and suppression,
depression,
and yet they stand tall,
but soon they all will fall,
the time has come, 
for their knots to be undone.
Lies exposed, truths being told,
a relief. that's bittersweet.
What a time to be alive,
to see it unfold, before our eyes.
No more need to hide,
or cry about painful goodbyes,
because in the end,
all that's been wronged and hurt,
will be on the mend.
And that is our promise,
from the heavens, that we hold on to,
my friend.