But the whole truth is, I’m filled with many layers, and it takes awhile to peel them all and reveal what all is going on deep inside.
On the outside, there’s no missing that I am a bit of a mess. An organized mess if you will, since I stay buried in my half written bullet journals. My hair is frizzy, makeup only ever half on or thrown on in a hurry when I actually get around to it, you can still see the bags under my eyes regardless, I mostly live in comfort clothes but I keep pretty things because I adore getting dressed up and the theatrical side of me remembers that play-acting and story telling will always be a part of who I am even if it only comes out in small thrown together moments that frankly could be better. I’m pretty much your stereotypical stay at home mom/eccentric artist that lives in a whirlwind of mess, creativity, sleepless nights and early mornings, good days, bad days, still throwing bits and pieces of my life together to create a work of art as I get through this thing called life. It just takes a little time and practice to figure out this canvas I suppose..
Don't let life pass you by.
Don't just say goodbye.
Don't succumb to the pain and the madness.
The hurt and the sadness.
It never ends but neither do the good times.
One comes and the other steps aside.
One can get you through, and one can end it for you.
Stop believing there's only one way out.
There's a higher power waiting to release you.
Don't act like people who seem happy, meditate, pray or laugh aren't dealing with agonizing pain underneath.
They need to convince you and themselves the most that they're okay.
One deep breath.
One prayer to God.
One moment to shut your eyes.
An understanding stranger,
A look or sweet moment with a child,
A touch from someone you love,
It makes the difference.
The way I've tried.
Live your life,
Your life matters,
Without you the world goes on, but slowly shatters.
And for a moment in time His bed became mine And we lingered And we were temporarily intertwined This feeling I had, it was completely divine Oh how I never wanted this moment to end The mixture of us, was my favorite blend Because together we fit Together feels good And this feeling stays deep inside me. Deep down Deep within Where you stretch me thin And ease my mind And I rest my eyes and melt while you hypnotize The very core of my soul And for a moment in time Our two bodies felt whole.
If there’s a shell let me hide
This feeling I can’t describe
I gave to get
And instead I got to give
I traded one for another
I find pieces of beauty and laughter
And stash them in my closet
I save them for a rainy day
An emotion hoarder,
That’s what I am
A beautiful shell is only beautiful if it stays intact and doesn’t fill with dirt
I was born into a beautiful shell
And dirt got thrown in
Cracks turned into broken pieces
I try to hide deeper inside but the cracks expose me every time.
I’m afraid I slowly lose the concept of repair
But here I go, with the ugly duct tape on this broken shell
I need a place to store my emotions
For this emotion hoarder